currently expressing myself thru scenecore revival songs because there is something mentally wrong with me

I'm sorry, I've been going through alot these past 4 months. Some ppl leaving my life has had a huge fucking mental toll on me, and just now is when i admit it. Also been paranoid and just thinking about ghosting everyone, because i just don't even feel right with myself nd i just have alot of guilt rn for some shit i did 3 months ago. I've apologized a million times, ik but i still feel terrible about it. I'm sorry for posting sm, its just i feel like that is the only way to properly express how i feel